Confidence

Dr. Pepper asked a question…

 

“Do you like “confident” guys? What is confidence? What gets your attention when you meet someone new?”

 

I thought about this question all night. I tried to remember all the guys I’ve been attracted to, or had relationships with, to see if there was a pattern. And YUP, there is…

The easiest way to explain, is that I like guys who mirror my own personality… Once I started writing, I realized that I actually learned this concept in college (in a psych class, or maybe it was business…?). To interact effectively with other people you need to mirror them. If they’re quiet-mannered then drop your voice to a soft level…if they are overly excitable then get all fired-up about what you’re saying. Whatever the situation is, try to copy the other person (it’s a great tip for job interviews…maybe I did learn it in a business class…). Well, I suppose the same is true of me and my attractions.

That being said… I like confidence, but not arrogance. I can’t stand ‘in-your-face’ guys who think they’re All-That! I can’t handle ridiculous stories about themselves and how cool they are. I don’t want to hear about their awesome car/house/pool/job, and I don’t care about the sporting trophies they won 10 years ago.

I look for guys with confidence in themselves and their abilities. I like quiet confidence. I like a guy who realizes he is special (handsome, witty, intelligent, fun, etc) but doesn’t need to broadcast it… And for me, personally, he needs to be calm and laid-back. I get too drained trying to deal with hyper or aggressive types. I like a guy to be at ease in his surroundings. I especially love it when a guy makes eye-contact with me and smiles. That alone can send shivers up my spine…

 

Confidence is being self-assured, capable of making decisions, speaking loud enough to be heard & enunciating (very important!), taking charge when necessary and always being civil to others. Nothing turns me off faster than rude, bossy types (I don’t mind if you have to get something done, or have to reprimand someone, but do it with professionalism). I’m a business woman, and while I do have to get tough, I’ve never asked someone to do something that I wouldn’t do myself, and I always give people the respect they deserve. Men who can grasp this concept are always going to turn me on…

 

Confidence is also the ability to be forceful in your convictions, without disregarding other people’s opinions. I love men who know what they want and take charge to get it. I also think that a college education often generates confidence naturally. I’m not trying to be biased against non-college educated guys…I’m just saying that education is a good start.

Confidence is a fine-line between being dynamic and tender, but if you can pull it off with ease and a sense of humor then you’ve got it made (…and you can also email me ).

CoffeeGirl on Death Row…

My earlier post on the Desert Island List got so long that I cut it short without getting to the second part. Aaron added his own spin to my DIL by asking what I would order as my last meal if I were on Death Row. Now, ironically, this is a subject that I’ve often considered, and just like my Top 10 Albums list, I’m constantly revising it as I discover new favorites. Why would I often think about this topic, you ask? Well about 5-6 years ago I went to an art exhibit where the actual last meals of Death Row prisoners were printed in list form on large canvases. I found it fascinating what people would choose to eat their last day on earth. It’s a question that has haunted me since…What would I choose? It took me a lot of thought, but I have my menu squared away, and Oh Boy, is it a pricey one (CoffeeGirl has discerning tastes)! Not to mention long… I decided that if it’s my last meal ever, I’m going to make it count!

Again, it pains me to not be able to share my DIL with my loyal readers (I’m sure that if Aaron ever finds this blog, despite changing his name, he’ll know it’s me writing about him!). Anyway…please share your list with me (Dr. Pepper, I know you’ll be first in line…lol).

The ‘Desert Island List’

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to say what I want to say on this blog and still maintain my anonymity. I know that in the world of blogging, the chances are slim that someone I know is reading this. However, I also know that the world is a very small place. Before he left on Tuesday, Aaron and I spent 5 days together…going through what I call the ‘Desert Island List’… A time of getting to know each other’s favorites. I started calling it the DIL back in college b/c in the beginning it was just my Top 10 Albums of All Time (aka the DIL) and now it has evolved into an entire list of other random questions. Maybe the name is misleading cuz obviously you’re not going to take your favorite ice cream to a secluded island, but still, that’s what I’ve come to call it. And I think that going through the DIL right away with someone new is both fun and a good way to feel-out the connection that may or may not be there. With Aaron, we seemed to be twins…every answer no matter how big or small was compatible. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing is yet to be determined. LOL

In keeping with my recent trend of uncanny coincidences, I just read The Man’s post on A or B?. It’s very similar to the DIL (except his questions are a little more spicy than my boring ones!) It’s a very simple concept that people of all ages/gender participate in: Dog or Cat, Superman or Batman, Coke or Pepsi…etc. My DIL usually includes open-ended questions…like favorite food, etc…

It can be as basic as asking “are you a righty or a lefty”, or as complex as my Top 10 Albums of All Time inquiry (that one is thought-provoking). From there the conversation leads itself and any topic is fair-game (I will admit that sex seemed to be a hot topic for Aaron & me. Although, “No” dear readers, we haven’t yet!).

To me, the music question is very important b/c I’m a music-gal, I LOVE music!

So now I’m disappointed b/c I can’t share my Top Albums List here, for fear of being outed (and I worked so hard on it too…).

But please, share with me some of your favorite music… I’d love to know what my readers like…