Big Clue #7

HDDG’s Dunkin Donuts is in a city with a college/university.

The Reverse Latte Factor

If you knew me personally, you’d know that CoffeeGirl is pretty competent when it comes to money….spending, saving and investing. So that’s why I feel my crush on HDDG is really costing me a lot! Not just time spent away from work so I can frequent Dunkin Donuts, but also money that would normally be reserved for the market (so I could make my own bagel at home). I went from a once-a-month DD habit to a 5-times-a-week DD habit. What does this mean to my pocketbook??? Well, calculating David Bach fashion…

$4.41 per day x 5 days = $22.05 per week

$22.05 x 4 weeks = $88.20/month

$88.20 x 12 months…

I’ve increased my annual spending by $1058.40

Good news for Dunkin Donuts, bad news for me.  I hope you’re worth it, HDDG!

The Aaron Story

Okay, maybe I’m incapable of being happy…or maybe I know very well what will make me happy and I choose to pass on things that I don’t think will.

Either way, I broke it off with a guy who was sweet, kind, funny, smart, complimentary, respectful…. Why? I don’t really know, it just seemed like the right thing to do. Aaron & I got along great, had lots of fun and tons in common…but I just held back part of me. I think one of the biggest problems was that we started off fast, literally spent every day together for 5 days, and emailed when we were apart…then he left for an 8 day vacation in the woods, where he didn’t have any cell reception and we basically went for 8 days w/o talking. Now…. I do feel confident that if we had been together longer than 5 days we would have made it through, no problem. However, when he came back, there was an adjustment period, and to be honest, even though we started off strong the second time around, I still had reservations. We gave it a shot…and it didn’t work. Well, I didn’t work…if it were up to him we’d still be dating.

Sometimes, just b/c someone looks perfect on paper, it doesn’t mean they’re right for you…no matter how wonderful things are.

Let me clarify a couple things… in talking with a friend of mine, it was determined that Aaron didn’t hold my romantic interest b/c he wasn’t a challenge. This is true. And, he was too nice. This is also true. Finally, he didn’t know how to close the deal. True True True. Aaron & I did NOT sleep together, and not for lack of him wanting to…that was made clear to me. But I just didn’t feel right about it, now I’m glad I waited.

I think if he’d had more balls, been more aggressive (in the good way), and hadn’t been so god damned nice we would have worked. However, CoffeeGirl needs a man who will stand up to her sometimes. As it stands, he’s one of the sweetest guys ever, and I’m casting him back….

Feels Like Christmas Morning…

15 days later & HDDG has re-appeared! Needing a haircut, but as handsome as ever, My True Lust is back at work. After a stressful few weeks (did I mention I dumped Aaron? More later), I had begun to think that maybe I didn’t feel as strongly for HDDG as I once thought. But seeing him again today made my heart skip and my stomach flip. I suddenly couldn’t believe I had made it through two weeks without him. I just wanted to talk to him…ask him where he’d been, how it was, if he’d had fun…I wanted to know what was going on with him. I suddenly felt an extremely overwhelming need to be a part of his life. I patiently waited in line, and when my turn was up, Bingo! I stood in front of him…my knees threatening to give way under me. I flashed him my oft-rehearsed, perfect this-is-a-warm-friendly-smile-but-there-could-be-something-more-to-it…teeth and all. He instantly smiled right back and I leaned in slightly across the counter. He instinctively learned in toward me as well, still grinning. I gave him my order with specific directives…he smiled broadly at me and repeated my order..I nodded in a flirtatous fashion. As he walked away to get my drink, he looked back at me and smiled again. I was on cloud nine!!! I watched while he waited to pour my drink, and he twirled the plastic Dunkin Donuts cup on the palm of his hand! He is so confident and cool!!! Wow! He came back with my drink, put it on the counter in front of me, leaned in and repeated my order again..almost in a whisper. I reached for the cup and his hand was still on it, so I glanced up at him, he was beaming. At this point, I think I blushed. I feel like if we had been the only people in the room he would have kissed me. I know that sounds stupid, and you’re saying it’s just a figment of my imagination…just wishful thinking… However, CoffeeGirl has had many years experience with men and knows that look when she sees it! I think we really made a connection today.

Before I left, I got a good look at his name tag and it reflects a promotion! I almost said something to him about it, but stopped myself. Oh, and I’ve redetermined how old I think he is…originally I said he could be anywhere between 19-29…now I’d say with some certainty he’s probably 25-27. Perfect age for me…I like them a little young!

Big Clue #6

HDDG’s Dunkin Donuts is within 30 miles of the ocean. Closing in….

Question for Badass

Billy Badass gave me license to ask him anything after answering a personal question he had for me. So, this is it…

“Representing strong, assertive, confident guys everywhere…what features turn you on in a woman, both physical and emotional? And, what about a woman usually catches your interest first?”

(I’ll be waiting on the edge of my seat)

Read Billy’s Answer

Billy Badass, That Warrants a Post!

Billy, you’re the man. I’ll bet you hear that all the time, don’t you, Stud?

Billy said;

“HDDG represents your dream man, after going through a painful process of dating guys who can’t seem to get the job done.

I would bet he is strong, silent, assertive, friendly, etc. And I bet you think he would take control and give you… uh… a damn good bangin, I guess you could say.

All the while I wonder what your “boyfriend” is like. I would bet he is probably mildly jealous, a little too clingy, and maybe even too nice. And thats why this blog still exists, although in anonymity.”

Now that I’m thinking about it…Billy is right.  This whole thing boils down to just sex (nothing wrong with that, right?).  I mean, why pine over someone you don’t know??? Sexual attration, plain and simple.

Yes, HDDG is  “strong, silent, assertive, friendly”, and in my mind I do imagine he could “take control and give me a damn good bangin!”  

As for Aaron, my so-called boyfriend (we don’t have an understanding yet…),  he is the type of man I have always felt is perfect for me… Smart, funny, sensitive, easy-going, “mildly jealous, a little too clingy, and maybe even too nice”.  He is profuse in his praise for me, and is always the perfect gentleman.  Is that why I don’t feel quite right about him??? Am I looking for something else, something I’m not supposed to want?  Is it possible that deep down I really do want the ‘bad boy’? Probably.  I’ve reached a point in my life where I finally realize I don’t need a man to take care of me.  I’m educated, self-supporting and independent.  Maybe I should stop looking for perfect, and start looking for satisfying.

And Billy, just to clarify…I’ve had really good sex (really, really good sex).  But not since college.  Why are adept men so hard to find?

10 Days and No HDDG

So it’s been 10 days since I last saw HDDG.  I’m actually considering calling DD and asking for him…they’ll either say “so-and-so doesn’t work here anymore”… or… “so-and-so isn’t in today”. 

I mean, I really don’t want to slip into the seductive life of stalking, but a girl’s gotta know!!! Maybe NG was hired as his replacement.  Maybe he was transferred to another Dunkin Donuts (do they do that?).  Maybe he was in an accident. Maybe he died!  Wow, I know, I know, I need to get a grip.  But seriously….what DD employee gets 10 days for vacation???? I’m really losing it.

I just realized…now my blog really is aptly named…

Neglecting My Blog

I haven’t had much to say these last couple of days. I must admit that I’m really kinda drained from dealing with my friend and her ‘cyber-affair’ problem. She has called me everyday to talk for hours. I now know that I’m the only person she has confided in, and she feels a relief having someone to talk to.

Apparently, it’s worse than she originally lead me to believe. She has a secret cell phone and talks to him for hours everyday. And they have phone-sex. She said that the cell bill goes to her work address so her husband won’t know about the extra phone. She regularly speaks to his friends, brother and mother on the phone. They’ve been making plans to live together, maybe even in another state. They use the “L” word, and have discussed marriage and children.

I don’t know what to tell her. I’m so sad hearing about all of this b/c I’m also friends with her husband (FYI: I didn’t know he drank, no one knows). She wants me to tell her it’s okay , and that she’s making the right decision…but I can’t. I don’t know what to tell her. I think the only good thing here is that they haven’t met. However, they are planning to very soon.

This whole thing makes my stupid crush on HDDG seem soooo silly and innocent. She has a real big problem…

The Married Woman Affair

This afternoon, I spent 3 hours on the phone with one of my good friends. I’ve known her since 2002 and we’ve become very close. She had to confess something to me, and wanted my advice….I’ve been thinking about her story and thought I’d share it here (on my anonymous blog).

(We’ll call her Beth)

Beth is 31 and has been married for 4 years. She loves her husband very much but feels that the spark & romance is gone. So Beth told me that about a month ago, she met a guy online and they’ve been emailing ever since. They haven’t met in person, although she says she wants that more than anything. She is trying to justify her decision to do so. Okay, here is the kicker…he is 21. What I want to know is what a 31 y.o. woman has in common with a 21 y.o. guy???? However, she claims to be in love with him! She said they talk during the day while her husband is at work, and she can’t stop thinking about him. He apparently wants them to be together (officially…permanently…), so he’s pushing for her to leave her husband. Beth doesn’t know what to do…and I didn’t know what to tell her. It seems like a shame to throw away a marriage on a guy you haven’t met yet, but she is convinced he’s her soulmate (and I do believe in soulmates…maybe she’s right). She told me she’s scared of it working out with the younger guy, and at the same time, is scared of it not working out. As a single woman, I can’t relate to her situation.

Two more important details…her husband drinks and refuses to get help… and there aren’t any children in the marriage yet. She feels like now is the time to make the move…I’m so nervous to see her do that!!!

I told her I’d call her back tonight after her husband’s asleep. What do I tell her??? Has anyone else been in this position???